Dr. Eris,

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner AGAIN and I’m starting to freak out. I generally get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness around February. And, to top it off, I’m surround by women at work. Most of them are already getting cards, gifts, flowers, etc. And I won’t – unless I send them to myself. Should I send myself flowers to escape the embarrassment or should I call in sick on Valentine’s Day?

Dr. Eris Suggests,

The fact is that everywhere you look in February is images of couples kissing, candy, hearts, and love, love, love. It is a shame that people who are not in a relationship are made to feel bad on Valentine’s Day.

To make matters worse, if you are already feeling alone, then this day can trigger all sorts of difficult feelings and emotions.

However, all of this hype can trick you into putting just as much focus on this holiday as society does. This can be unwarranted as well as unhealthy. I suggest that you change your perception of this day. Its just another day, and not being in a relationship right now is not the end of the world. Don’t get down on yourself for that.

You first need to be in a relationship with yourself, empower yourself, and fall in love with you. There can’t possibly be a better time to do this than right now. Self worth comes from you, not from anyone else. Take contrary action on Valentine’s Day and have a date with you, yourself, and YOU. Take yourself to the movies, go on a nice hike, go shopping (Just don’t get yourself into debt). And of course, you can buy yourself flowers! You can also enjoy the day with a friend. Or, have your very own Valentine’s Day Party. As Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

P.S. I get many e-mails surrounding Valentine’s Day break-ups. This does not surprise me being that this holiday revolves around equating love – finding the dollar figure that says, “I love you,” in just the “right amount.” The rest of the year, we show each other how much we love by the little things, how we listen, how we act. But on this day, its pre planned, pre packaged, pre marketed, pre sold, pre bought, and pre consumed. But lets not remove February 14th from our calendars.