Hello. I just finished watching last week’s episode of LA Shrinks and felt compelled to look you up and write. My name is Amy Arvary. I own a company call Amy Arvary Conscious Style. It is a culmination of my extensive experience as a beauty industry professional and a master certified clinical hypnotherapist—I use my experience in helping women look their best AND feel their best. Beauty on the inside and out.
Today I watched as a client came to you for the first time to discuss body image issues as she is looking to find a different kind of man. THE DIALOG SHIFTED MY PERCEPTION AND AWOKE IN ME A NEW UNDERSTANDING OF MY EXPERIENCE. I listened as she described how making herself look so “perfect” attracts a certain and undesirable kind of man. It was when she said she wants to be seen on the inside that things changed for me. This is why…
My whole life I was the pretty one. Prom queen in high school, pretty smile and great body. My dating and marriage history is quite unimpressive—attracting controlling and selfish men whose love for me was contingent on my looks. Then I gave birth to my daughter and everything changed.
Her father, with whom I was engaged to, left us when my daughter was 18 months old. It was 3 months before our wedding. His reason? He lost respect for me after I gained weight and focused more on her and less on keeping myself looking as I did prior to.
Over the year and a half after that event I gained over 100 lbs. Becoming a single mother and having my life change so drastically made coping difficult. I focused on my daughter through the day trying my best to not allow her to feel the great “loss” I was feeling. I worked hard at focusing on her development during the day and when she went to sleep I would cry and eat. I was terrified and empty.
Since that time I have completely reconstructed my life. Hypnotherapy and meditation became the tools that helped me THINK differently, find hope and purpose.
I have worked very diligently at building a life and a business that would allow me the security to never let some else have the power to take away our comforts and hope and strength. I now teach women and children how to find the strength and self respect and love that so many of us look for someone else to provide.
The show hit me so hard today because I have been holding on to my weight, convincing myself that I want to find a partner to see me for who I am inside and not just outside. I am doing the same thing that this girl is doing but opposite. If someone can see through my weight to who I am, perhaps I will break my previous history and with a daughter, that is more important than ever.
Dr.Eris told her that she isn’t providing who she is inside based on what she is showing on the outside—there is a disconnect. I get it. As she said, men are visual and although I have made it through a tough time and am building an amazing future, my outsides don’t accurately reflect my insides. I still represent (visually) the girl with a broken spirit eating herself to death.
That is not who I am. I have been telling myself the wrong message.
All I can say is thank you. Thank you for the shift propelled by you today. Thank you for this new understanding. I am extremely grateful.
Sending much love.
Amy Arvary, M.ht.